Pop Quiz...

... which of the following weighs 20 kg?

1: 500 lemons;

2: c. 1/3 of me;

3: three or four big bags of potatoes;

4: Victoria Beckham;

5: the fingernail of William 'the Fridge' Perry;

6: My luggage allowance to move to Japan for 5 years.

It is, of course, a trick question. They all weigh 20 kg, though the only ones I give a freshly minted fuck about are 2 and 6. Mainly 6.